Hypomania to mania?

It does sound as if this is an outlet for stress and/or anxiety. Sometimes when I've been really down, I have imagined myself crashing my car into a wall (So I don't hurt anyone else). Your images seem much worse than mine were. Are you currently seeing someone for your health? Maybe you could ask them? Your question is well written and constructed - maybe you could write it out of your system? I'm sorry I can't be more helpful. Good luck.